It's All About A Great Comeback:

I should use these at USP.

1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

2. The fact that no one understands you, doesn't mean you're an artist. There's mine.

3. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

5. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.

6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

8. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

9. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

11. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

12. No, my powers can only be used for good.

13. How about never? Is never good for you?

14. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

15. You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication.

16. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

17. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!

18. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.

19. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

20. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

21. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

22. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

Thanks to Diane at TPV .