TheStar.com - Water-for-strippers deal in works with Bush
President George W. Bush begins a two-day visit to Canada tomorrow, his first official state jaunt to this country since becoming president. The first day alone is jam packed with events. Here's the itinerary, subject to change:

11 a.m.: Air Force One touches down at Ottawa International Airport, where the President will be welcomed by Prime Minister Paul Martin and assorted dignitaries. As a token of goodwill regarding trade sanctions on softwood lumber, the Prime Minister will present the president with a B.C. two-by-four.

11:20 a.m.: The Prime Minister will then inform President Bush that he is taking the extraordinary measure of taking him into custody and putting him on trial for war crimes.

11:21 a.m.: Just before presidential aides finish entering codes into the "briefcase" that will see everything north of the 49th parallel obliterated within 10 minutes, Prime Minister Martin tells President Bush he's just messing with him. Everyone knows the President loves a good joke, and there is expected to be much laughing and backslapping for several minutes.

If only!