The Onion | White House Thanksgiving Turkey Detained Without Counsel
WASHINGTON, DC—Cousin Wattle, the official National Thanksgiving Turkey who was to have been pardoned by President Bush in an annual White House ceremony that dates back to the Truman administration, is currently being held without formal charges or access to legal counsel, White House press secretary Scott McClellan confirmed Tuesday.

McClellan said that Wattle, a 41-pound White Holland tom, is in custody after having been judged a "potential security risk" to the president Monday.

"Cousin Wattle's conduct prior to the pardoning ceremony prompted Justice Department officials to authorize the bird's detention as an enemy combatant," McClellan said. "He exhibited hostile, potentially seditious behavior that could endanger the safety of the president or other government officials."

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!